So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
