do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
