I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
