so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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