I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i drank out of a bidet.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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