he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
