fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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