I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
