YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
