I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
