you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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