remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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