I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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