don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
