My hand turned me down
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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