He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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