also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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