We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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