I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
