i can juggle bunnies
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.