Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.

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  (616): If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet. http://tfl.nu/k138
  Replies (12) Good night (908) Bad night (2125)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!

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  (651): Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST! http://tfl.nu/a9dw
  Replies (14) Good night (509) Bad night (2661)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?

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  (412): You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy? http://tfl.nu/p3a3
  Replies (9) Good night (4028) Bad night (1025)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.

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  (778): Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night. http://tfl.nu/vt5l
  Replies (8) Good night (3838) Bad night (1640)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.

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  (484): They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again. http://tfl.nu/d9r7
  Replies (10) Good night (1247) Bad night (4176)
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  (914): View more from New York

  im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj

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  (914): im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj http://tfl.nu/kgi8
  Replies (22) Good night (5589) Bad night (1784)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.

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  (910): No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate. http://tfl.nu/lhje
  Replies (4) Good night (2728) Bad night (730)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  the wall and i were having dominance issues.

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  (614): the wall and i were having dominance issues. http://tfl.nu/itlm
  Replies (7) Good night (2507) Bad night (1851)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It was pathetic and I was covered in butter

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  (201): It was pathetic and I was covered in butter http://tfl.nu/w2vb
  Replies (5) Good night (1390) Bad night (832)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.

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  (317): The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today. http://tfl.nu/2j3f
  Replies (9) Good night (2462) Bad night (789)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.

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  (270): Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail. http://tfl.nu/dt82
  Replies (2) Good night (902) Bad night (452)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.

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  (843): Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco. http://tfl.nu/7zc7
  Replies (6) Good night (1060) Bad night (433)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  Do you have any forwarding contact info?

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  (804): Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface? (1-804): Do you have any forwarding contact info? http://tfl.nu/ibaz
  Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (254)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.

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  (765): So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30. http://tfl.nu/7nzj
  Replies (3) Good night (596) Bad night (592)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.

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  (720): He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened. http://tfl.nu/qbkq
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (229)

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