Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.

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  (510): you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks. http://tfl.nu/dlzp
  Replies (6) Good night (2726) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.

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  (575): She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary. http://tfl.nu/4ghz
  Replies (18) Good night (4422) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I intend to get homeless drunk

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  (403): I intend to get homeless drunk http://tfl.nu/9yk9
  Replies (20) Good night (5125) Bad night (1534)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.

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  (309): Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still. http://tfl.nu/aa8c
  Replies (11) Good night (5828) Bad night (1433)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.

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  (409): There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard. http://tfl.nu/fxyx
  Replies (9) Good night (4919) Bad night (1347)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay

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  (508): Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay http://tfl.nu/rfq4
  Replies (44) Good night (1436) Bad night (8659)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....

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  (617): wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara..... http://tfl.nu/je0j
  Replies (17) Good night (5571) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.

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  (706): So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/v79f
  Replies (26) Good night (1417) Bad night (7168)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.

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  (785): Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer. http://tfl.nu/7lxv
  Replies (15) Good night (5862) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.

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  (605): We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor. http://tfl.nu/zlq5
  Replies (3) Good night (2594) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...

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  (702): He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried... http://tfl.nu/88kq
  Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (2611)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?

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  (865): Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right? http://tfl.nu/ddd7
  Replies (10) Good night (1231) Bad night (2317)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?

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  (717): Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear? http://tfl.nu/yvgn
  Replies (3) Good night (1253) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.

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  (305): i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes. http://tfl.nu/n4c7
  Replies (4) Good night (667) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb

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  (604): I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb http://tfl.nu/i22g
  Replies (4) Good night (815) Bad night (374)

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