oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
