HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.