Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards

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  (651): Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards http://tfl.nu/4z51
  Replies (4) Good night (777) Bad night (928)
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  (925): View more from California

  I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..

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  (925): I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand.. http://tfl.nu/3ekb
  Replies (18) Good night (5326) Bad night (647)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.

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  (630): Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened. http://tfl.nu/4exz
  Replies (23) Good night (6483) Bad night (2832)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick

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  (708): this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick http://tfl.nu/q9ek
  Replies (10) Good night (4504) Bad night (868)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.

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  (435): He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left. http://tfl.nu/e0w7
  Replies (7) Good night (2561) Bad night (1007)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.

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  (757): We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather. http://tfl.nu/kdej
  Replies (10) Good night (3016) Bad night (634)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?

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  (303): Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us? http://tfl.nu/b72r
  Replies (20) Good night (949) Bad night (2651)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.

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  (337): I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/g5uf
  Replies (26) Good night (1001) Bad night (2592)
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.

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  (209): I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow. http://tfl.nu/kya1
  Replies (1) Good night (1252) Bad night (419)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?

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  (212): I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin? http://tfl.nu/wy13
  Replies (5) Good night (1343) Bad night (1089)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"

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  (440): Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!" http://tfl.nu/2j1e
  Replies (11) Good night (1808) Bad night (584)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.

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  (262): She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor... (262): I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho. http://tfl.nu/4nj6
  Replies (8) Good night (1457) Bad night (650)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.

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  (302): As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial. http://tfl.nu/egux
  Replies (4) Good night (1655) Bad night (413)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.

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  (706): The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done. http://tfl.nu/bycu
  Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (203)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore

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  (740): I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore http://tfl.nu/8kqe
  Replies (8) Good night (223) Bad night (73)

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