the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?