Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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