let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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