the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
