Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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