the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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