Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
