when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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