I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
