I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize