One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He has the fingertips of a God
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