Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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