where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
