I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
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We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
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I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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