Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
