Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
