once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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