he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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