i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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