I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
