you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
