...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
