on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
