she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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