i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
