Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize