my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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