when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Someone shit on the floor
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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