there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
