I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
