Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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