If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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