Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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