ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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