I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
More tranny stories later!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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