STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
