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It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
