i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
