i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
