marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
