I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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