please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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