I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
