bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
