he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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