i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
soo... how was my night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
